Okay

I think that slowly but surely I'm becoming okay with being alone (not in a relationship). I went to an engagement party today for one of my best friends and while there was a small amount of awkwardness, my being the only unattached person there (Sevrine doesn't count as a date), I didn't want to cry on the way home for my lack of a partner. Don't get me wrong, I was still a little sad that I don't have a partner right now, but for the first time in a while, it didn't make me want to cry. I felt a little bit more awkward there because even though I'm not much older than my friends, in maturity and our places in life, I'm way older. They are still fairly free to do the things they want without much planning, while I have to take several factors into account before I can even go to the grocery store. Part of me is jealous or their unfettered lifestyles, and part of me feels sorry for them because they don't have the experiences that having kids brings you. I guess I'm just feeling the divide between us get larger and larger the more time goes by. None of them are going through any of the same things that I am going through solely because I have a child. Maybe that's me isolating myself a little, but I find it harder and harder to relate sometimes because of it.

starting over

Well, its time to start fresh. A week into this new year I'm officially single and trying to focus on myself. Gonna take things slow as far as dating goes, but will actually be blogging my dating experiences since it seems that they are so entertaining. I seem to be a magnet for guys that are just a little off the wall, so I'll just have to write about them just so you can get a sense of what I mean. I don't think I'll be posting those things on this particular blog, just to try and keeps things separate, but we'll see. I'm sure there will be some spill over.

Entertaining but unproductive

I had a mostly unproductive day today. I got sucked into the crack that is a forum (actually a few of them) on a popular LDS networking site. It's so addictive. I can't get away from it for very long before I have to know what's going on. lol Some of the threads, to which I was a participant had me laughing most of the afternoon. I may have to ration myself. lol

Clean slate

Okay, since this is a new year, I think we can say that now is a good time to start over, clean the slate as it were. I want to keep my goals this year simple. I could make a huge list of things that I want to accomplish this year as I've done in year's past, but I think that it's hard to look back and see what you've yet to accomplish sometimes. I already stated before that one of my main goals this year is to be selfish, but I think that to make that goal sound slightly less....selfish, I'll say that this year I'm going to focus on my own happiness. If you currently rely on me for your happiness, I apologize, you're on your own, unless of course it's directly linked with my own happiness. So yeah, main goal is to be happy. I may start up my photo blog again, but the pressure of having to do it every day was too much. I will just hope for a few per week at this point. Hmmm, I may have to set a goal to keep you more informed as to the happy aspects of my life. We'll start with this.......

I bought a new point & shoot today. My old camera was about 3 years old and will no longer take a charge, so after much shopping around, I settled on a Samsung with 5x optical zoom. If it weren't for the much anticipated football game on Monday, I may have postponed this purchase for a little while, but alas, I really want to get some pictures of Jeff and I at the game so I had to buy it. :) It does have some pretty cool features, so stay tuned. If I can figure them out, they'll be really cool.

So, to you all.... Happy New Year and may it be everything you hope for. :)

2009: You are officially dead to me

I have to say, that I am so glad this year is over. It has not been a very good one. I just hope that 2010 is better. Okay, so here is my New Year's Resolution. It's going to sound strange at first, but I'll explain. I vow to be selfish this year. Yep, that's it. Last year I spent so much time and energy taking care of and worrying about everyone else that I didn't take care of me at all. This year will be different. This year is all about me. I know that if I take better care of myself I can be a better Mom to Sevrine, which is a definite bonus. It's also the year to evaluate who I really need in my life. I find that so many of my friendships/relationships are a little too one-sided. Which goes back to the being selfish thing. If my friends don't treat me the same way that I treat them and am getting nothing back from them, I'm going to have to cut them loose. So, I am also now taking applications for friends. lol Please submit your references. ;) jk

So, here is to me in 2010, since this will be the year that it's all about me. :)

Sticking with it

Well, I did manage to get out and walk again tonight, and even shaved a minute off of my time. I'll probably keep with the walking until the end of the week and then start to add jogging back in. I don't want to over do it and get shin splints again. That sucked. LOL So, for now I keep trying to stick with it and start eating better. We'll see how it goes.

Jump start

Well, I think that I want to get a jump start on the whole New Year's Resolution thing. I've been telling myself for a while that I'm going to start exercising again, but have never really followed through on it. So, tonight I decided that I wasn't going to put it off even for another day and I laced up my tennis shoes and went walking. It was cold out, but it felt really good. I only did 2 miles, but that is a good start, and the goal now is to decrease the time it takes me to walk that 2 miles. Hopefully I will get to the point where I can just run it without stopping, but for now.... baby steps. I would like to try and walk every day, but I know that that may not be realistic, but, I want to stay as close to that goal as I can.

Also, I think that I want to restart the photo project with the new year. We'll see how it goes, but I really want to finish it, or at the very least, make it beyond 27 days. :)