Another year older and wiser too

Well, I think today was a revelation per se. I had a fairly decent birthday, but the person I wanted most to wish me a Happy Birthday didn't, and likely didn't even remember that it was my Birthday. Maybe I'm overreacting or being overly emotional about him forgetting my Birthday, but it's just one more thing that's telling me that it's okay to be done with this relationship. I don't want to turn this into a complete slam, but I guess I'm just feeling like I'm being taken completely for granted. I'm not a piece of furniture, I'm not going to hang around no matter how bad you treat me or how neglectful you are. So, I'm either going to have to be a priority, or I'm out completely. We'll see how it goes. This is not a conversation that is going to happen over text or IM if I can help it. lol

Oh yeah. Here is the picture from my first day of Project 365. I do have it say that it's pretty calming. Just what I need right now. :)

Project 365

Okay, so I need to take more pictures and put my nice camera to use so I think that I'm going to take the Project 365 challenge. The challenge is to take and post a picture every day for a year. So, being that tomorrow is my birthday, I figured that there's no better time to start then tomorrow. I will try and find out tonight if there are any official rules to it. Well, I'm off to jot down some photo ideas since even I don't want 365 pictures of Sevrine. lol

Pictures!

I love getting pictures taken of my girl. :) There's nothing better than seeing how they grow and change over time. This weekend was no exception. I look at her on a daily basis in awe that she is getting to be so grown up, but never as much as when I actually see it in pictures.

Part of the reason for all the pictures is that she may end up doing some modelling. I know, funny right? Mostly for fun, but if something comes of it great. I love that the agency is very openly "Christian" and won't book the kids for anything questionable. So, we are getting pictures taken for her Comp Card. Ashley's friend Sara Carroll will be taking the pictures. If you're in Phoenix and need family photos, you should totally check out her website. She is incredible. www.saracarrollimages.com

Alright, what else is going on..... Oh yeah, I'm getting old. lol I can't say that I'm looking forward to my birthday. I guess when you really look at it "age is just a number" lol, yeah right. I guess we will just see how the week plays out.

Scared and proud at the same time

Okay, so I'm not sure about a few things still, but I do have more information to work from. At first I was a little bit bitter about why in the heck the Military would be recalling / stop-lossing Jeff only about 2 weeks before he was to complete his military service, but now that I know what his training is as well as what I know of his character, I completely understand. It doesn't mean I'm not worried, but I think that I would be more worried about that unit if someone else were leading them. I don't have a lot of details, or any really, but from what I can gather by reading between the lines, this mission is both dangerous and critical.

There are so many what ifs, but along with the stress and the insecurity about the future, I also feel a tremendous amount of pride in him and what he does. When I told Sevrine that he was going to be gone for a while because he was a soldier and was going to help people, she asked me if he was a super hero and could he fly. Well, she was sorry to hear that he couldn't fly but I did assure her that he was a hero....mine. Cheesy, I know, but it's true. I'll keep you posted.

Back on track

Okay, so I guess I'm trying to take control of the things that I can control. My actions. As some of you know, my life has been a little bit crazy lately. Well, they've now settled down at least a little bit, enough that I can step back and get a new perspective and consciously decide how I want to go forward. The goal I started to start taking care of myself was renewed this morning on a 40 minute walk. Eventually I'll start running again, but for now I like the walk as it gives me time to think at a reasonably pace. :)

Also, things with Jeff are still scary and unsure, but I think the original panic phase is over; I hope. He got a call yesterday morning that the location of his Battle Ready Physical was being moved from Luke Air Force Base to Texas (not sure which Base, but I will assume Fort Bliss until I can confirm). Now, this is good and, well, I hope it's just good. It's hard for me not being close, but he met up with some guys from his Unit that will also be deploying. I'm hoping that being able to talk to be that have not only been through a similar situation, but were participants in the same memories will bring him back from the panic. I know that he will still not want to go back, who would, but I think being able to have that kind of support system, since your Unit is your family, that it will give him the support that he needs and that I am completely unqualified to give him. So, now, I wait for word on how things go with the physical today, and pray that he and I will both be strong enough to handle it.

I remember...

Being that tomorrow is September 11th, I felt like i needed to publicly express my love and appreciation for all those that serve and have served in the armed forces, especially Jeff and Lamar. I love you both.