Okay

I think that slowly but surely I'm becoming okay with being alone (not in a relationship). I went to an engagement party today for one of my best friends and while there was a small amount of awkwardness, my being the only unattached person there (Sevrine doesn't count as a date), I didn't want to cry on the way home for my lack of a partner. Don't get me wrong, I was still a little sad that I don't have a partner right now, but for the first time in a while, it didn't make me want to cry. I felt a little bit more awkward there because even though I'm not much older than my friends, in maturity and our places in life, I'm way older. They are still fairly free to do the things they want without much planning, while I have to take several factors into account before I can even go to the grocery store. Part of me is jealous or their unfettered lifestyles, and part of me feels sorry for them because they don't have the experiences that having kids brings you. I guess I'm just feeling the divide between us get larger and larger the more time goes by. None of them are going through any of the same things that I am going through solely because I have a child. Maybe that's me isolating myself a little, but I find it harder and harder to relate sometimes because of it.

starting over

Well, its time to start fresh. A week into this new year I'm officially single and trying to focus on myself. Gonna take things slow as far as dating goes, but will actually be blogging my dating experiences since it seems that they are so entertaining. I seem to be a magnet for guys that are just a little off the wall, so I'll just have to write about them just so you can get a sense of what I mean. I don't think I'll be posting those things on this particular blog, just to try and keeps things separate, but we'll see. I'm sure there will be some spill over.

Entertaining but unproductive

I had a mostly unproductive day today. I got sucked into the crack that is a forum (actually a few of them) on a popular LDS networking site. It's so addictive. I can't get away from it for very long before I have to know what's going on. lol Some of the threads, to which I was a participant had me laughing most of the afternoon. I may have to ration myself. lol

Clean slate

Okay, since this is a new year, I think we can say that now is a good time to start over, clean the slate as it were. I want to keep my goals this year simple. I could make a huge list of things that I want to accomplish this year as I've done in year's past, but I think that it's hard to look back and see what you've yet to accomplish sometimes. I already stated before that one of my main goals this year is to be selfish, but I think that to make that goal sound slightly less....selfish, I'll say that this year I'm going to focus on my own happiness. If you currently rely on me for your happiness, I apologize, you're on your own, unless of course it's directly linked with my own happiness. So yeah, main goal is to be happy. I may start up my photo blog again, but the pressure of having to do it every day was too much. I will just hope for a few per week at this point. Hmmm, I may have to set a goal to keep you more informed as to the happy aspects of my life. We'll start with this.......

I bought a new point & shoot today. My old camera was about 3 years old and will no longer take a charge, so after much shopping around, I settled on a Samsung with 5x optical zoom. If it weren't for the much anticipated football game on Monday, I may have postponed this purchase for a little while, but alas, I really want to get some pictures of Jeff and I at the game so I had to buy it. :) It does have some pretty cool features, so stay tuned. If I can figure them out, they'll be really cool.

So, to you all.... Happy New Year and may it be everything you hope for. :)