Scared and proud at the same time

Okay, so I'm not sure about a few things still, but I do have more information to work from. At first I was a little bit bitter about why in the heck the Military would be recalling / stop-lossing Jeff only about 2 weeks before he was to complete his military service, but now that I know what his training is as well as what I know of his character, I completely understand. It doesn't mean I'm not worried, but I think that I would be more worried about that unit if someone else were leading them. I don't have a lot of details, or any really, but from what I can gather by reading between the lines, this mission is both dangerous and critical.

There are so many what ifs, but along with the stress and the insecurity about the future, I also feel a tremendous amount of pride in him and what he does. When I told Sevrine that he was going to be gone for a while because he was a soldier and was going to help people, she asked me if he was a super hero and could he fly. Well, she was sorry to hear that he couldn't fly but I did assure her that he was a hero....mine. Cheesy, I know, but it's true. I'll keep you posted.

Back on track

Okay, so I guess I'm trying to take control of the things that I can control. My actions. As some of you know, my life has been a little bit crazy lately. Well, they've now settled down at least a little bit, enough that I can step back and get a new perspective and consciously decide how I want to go forward. The goal I started to start taking care of myself was renewed this morning on a 40 minute walk. Eventually I'll start running again, but for now I like the walk as it gives me time to think at a reasonably pace. :)

Also, things with Jeff are still scary and unsure, but I think the original panic phase is over; I hope. He got a call yesterday morning that the location of his Battle Ready Physical was being moved from Luke Air Force Base to Texas (not sure which Base, but I will assume Fort Bliss until I can confirm). Now, this is good and, well, I hope it's just good. It's hard for me not being close, but he met up with some guys from his Unit that will also be deploying. I'm hoping that being able to talk to be that have not only been through a similar situation, but were participants in the same memories will bring him back from the panic. I know that he will still not want to go back, who would, but I think being able to have that kind of support system, since your Unit is your family, that it will give him the support that he needs and that I am completely unqualified to give him. So, now, I wait for word on how things go with the physical today, and pray that he and I will both be strong enough to handle it.

I remember...

Being that tomorrow is September 11th, I felt like i needed to publicly express my love and appreciation for all those that serve and have served in the armed forces, especially Jeff and Lamar. I love you both.

Let me off this ride

It seems like when I think that things are starting to get back to normal or close enough to normal for me to be comfortable, something comes up that throws things off again. I think they've already settled down again, at least for now. I guess we will see how things play out over this next week. In the meantime, work is going fairly well and Sevrine had a great time getting to see her cousins and her Dad this weekend. If only the excitement of being in a new house would wear off so she'd go to bed on time again. lol It used to be that I could ask her if it would make Jeff happy that she wasn't going to bed when she was supposed to and she'd settle right down. I haven't threatened her with his disappointment in a while because she hasn't seen him in a few weeks, and I'm not sure when she'll see him next. She misses him though. So do I, which makes it hard to hear her talk about him sometimes.

Ok, on to more fun things. Sevrine had a great time this weekend. She loved getting to play with her cousin Maddie. She didn't want to leave at all. She got to go run through the fountains at Gateway, go to Swiss Days in Midway, UT, play dress up, and go to see her Dad. She is still recovering from the excitement I think. lol It doesn't help that she's sleeping in a new house and a new pink bedroom. She's had a lot of changes and these have been exciting for her. Hopefully she'll start to settle into a routine soon so she can get back to her old schedule.

Well, I'm off to bed. A little earlier than is my usual, but after so many late nights, I need it.