2009: You are officially dead to me

I have to say, that I am so glad this year is over. It has not been a very good one. I just hope that 2010 is better. Okay, so here is my New Year's Resolution. It's going to sound strange at first, but I'll explain. I vow to be selfish this year. Yep, that's it. Last year I spent so much time and energy taking care of and worrying about everyone else that I didn't take care of me at all. This year will be different. This year is all about me. I know that if I take better care of myself I can be a better Mom to Sevrine, which is a definite bonus. It's also the year to evaluate who I really need in my life. I find that so many of my friendships/relationships are a little too one-sided. Which goes back to the being selfish thing. If my friends don't treat me the same way that I treat them and am getting nothing back from them, I'm going to have to cut them loose. So, I am also now taking applications for friends. lol Please submit your references. ;) jk

So, here is to me in 2010, since this will be the year that it's all about me. :)

Sticking with it

Well, I did manage to get out and walk again tonight, and even shaved a minute off of my time. I'll probably keep with the walking until the end of the week and then start to add jogging back in. I don't want to over do it and get shin splints again. That sucked. LOL So, for now I keep trying to stick with it and start eating better. We'll see how it goes.

Jump start

Well, I think that I want to get a jump start on the whole New Year's Resolution thing. I've been telling myself for a while that I'm going to start exercising again, but have never really followed through on it. So, tonight I decided that I wasn't going to put it off even for another day and I laced up my tennis shoes and went walking. It was cold out, but it felt really good. I only did 2 miles, but that is a good start, and the goal now is to decrease the time it takes me to walk that 2 miles. Hopefully I will get to the point where I can just run it without stopping, but for now.... baby steps. I would like to try and walk every day, but I know that that may not be realistic, but, I want to stay as close to that goal as I can.

Also, I think that I want to restart the photo project with the new year. We'll see how it goes, but I really want to finish it, or at the very least, make it beyond 27 days. :)

Merry Christmas

Well, I have to say that I'm happy the craziness is over. I also can't wait until Sevrine is home so she can open her presents here. I have a few more things that I will get for her before she gets home on the 9th. I'm so happy she's been having so much fun in Utah though. She doesn't get to see her cousins up there very often and she definitely gets spoiled when she's up there. For now though, I will try and take advantage of the time I have and get some things done. We'll see how it goes.

Evaluating

I think that its time for me to sit down and evaluate my life and how I want things to be. I know that some things are out of my control, but I think it may be time for me to take control over more aspects of my life, or maybe take ownership of more aspects of my life. I think its time to clean house so to speak, cut loose the people who stress me out and don't offer anything constructive and fill those slots with people who will enrich my life. Probably easier said than done, but I'm making it my goal.

Globe, Arizona

Sevrine and I are in Globe, Arizona this weekend. We came out here to get some pictures of the historical buildings and scenery out here. We left a little bit later than planned this morning and Sevrine has been a little grouchier than I had anticipated. She was all excited to take her own pictures this weekend, but once we got up here all she could think about was taking a nap. She never did take a nap though. Thankfully I did get to take a few pictures. Not as many as I would like, but we still have tomorrow.

Getting ready for "vacation"

Well, Sevrine thinks that anytime we stay in a hotel it's "vacation", so that is what we are doing this weekend. We've been trying to plan a picture-taking weekend for a while, but we've had so much going on the last few weekends that we are finally taking off. Tomorrow morning we will be heading up to Globe / Miami, Arizona to take some pictures. That whole area is really a string of mining towns that have some great old buildings that are just begging to be photographed. I've been through Superior and Miami before, but I've never been to Globe. Sevrine is excited about not only staying in a hotel, but also taking pictures. She's really begun to take an interest in it. A couple of times I've found her with my camera out snapping random pictures and some of them actually thoughtful. This is our chance to get out and do something that we both really like together. I can't wait to see what kind of pictures we've taken and then share them of course. So, be looking for lots of pictures this weekend.

My little Ballerina

Okay, I know I just posted today, but I couldn't help but post a picture of Sevrine all ready to go Trick or Treat. She was so excited about her costume and all of the candy. We ended up hooking up with some neighbors to go out and their kids were a little bit crazy. They wouldn't stop running and would just dart into the road without even looking. Sevrine over course followed suit and it was hard to get her to stop. We had gone pretty far when I noticed that Sevrine was almost dragging her bucket on the ground. I figured at that point that if she was too tired to carry the candy, she didn't need anymore. lol Once we got home she had even more fun helping Grandma pass out candy to the Trick or Treaters. Glad Halloween is over, but even more glad that my little Princess had such a great time.

Irish Festival

Well, I finally got to take Sevrine to the Arizona Irish Festival this year. I can't remember what conflict I had last year, but I was determined that I would take her this year. I'm so glad I did. She had a lot of fun. Jeff met us over there before he had to go to work and she was so excited to see him. She was her normal happy bubbly self and so interested in everything going on around her. She clapped to the music when the McMorrows played, got her face painted and jumped in the bounce house. She didn't wear her costume this year because her play costume got torn at school yesterday, but she still had fun.

While we were there we got a picture of the brick my parents bought a few years ago in memory of Grandma Bromley. It was nice to have Sevrine sitting next to the brick since that is who she was named for. As you can see from the pictures Sevrine had a blast and now she can't wait to go next year. :)

Long day

Well, today began early. Sevrine woke up a happy girl at around 7am asking me to read to her. We got up and got ready, went to get her hair curled and then rushed down to Saguaro Ranch Park to meet Sara Carroll for her pictures. We were cutting it close, but we managed to get there on time. Sevrine was really wired. She did really well though and I think Sara got some great shots. Sevrine wore 3 different outfits and we tried to change her hair a little without messing up her curls. By the end of the 1 hours shoot, Sevrine was "directing" Sara and telling her how she wanted to pose for her pictures. She was still saying "hey Sara take my picture" as we were walking to the car. She just kept stopping a random spots or posing next to trees and had to have her picture taken. It was really cute. Sara was awesome. She was so patient with Sevrine which made me a feel better even though I was stressing out. lol I got a couple pictures of the scene so you can see them. I felt weird taking a picture of Sevrine while Sara was so all of the pictures are of Sara taking Sevrine's picture. :) I can't wait to see them now!

Another year older and wiser too

Well, I think today was a revelation per se. I had a fairly decent birthday, but the person I wanted most to wish me a Happy Birthday didn't, and likely didn't even remember that it was my Birthday. Maybe I'm overreacting or being overly emotional about him forgetting my Birthday, but it's just one more thing that's telling me that it's okay to be done with this relationship. I don't want to turn this into a complete slam, but I guess I'm just feeling like I'm being taken completely for granted. I'm not a piece of furniture, I'm not going to hang around no matter how bad you treat me or how neglectful you are. So, I'm either going to have to be a priority, or I'm out completely. We'll see how it goes. This is not a conversation that is going to happen over text or IM if I can help it. lol

Oh yeah. Here is the picture from my first day of Project 365. I do have it say that it's pretty calming. Just what I need right now. :)

Project 365

Okay, so I need to take more pictures and put my nice camera to use so I think that I'm going to take the Project 365 challenge. The challenge is to take and post a picture every day for a year. So, being that tomorrow is my birthday, I figured that there's no better time to start then tomorrow. I will try and find out tonight if there are any official rules to it. Well, I'm off to jot down some photo ideas since even I don't want 365 pictures of Sevrine. lol

Pictures!

I love getting pictures taken of my girl. :) There's nothing better than seeing how they grow and change over time. This weekend was no exception. I look at her on a daily basis in awe that she is getting to be so grown up, but never as much as when I actually see it in pictures.

Part of the reason for all the pictures is that she may end up doing some modelling. I know, funny right? Mostly for fun, but if something comes of it great. I love that the agency is very openly "Christian" and won't book the kids for anything questionable. So, we are getting pictures taken for her Comp Card. Ashley's friend Sara Carroll will be taking the pictures. If you're in Phoenix and need family photos, you should totally check out her website. She is incredible. www.saracarrollimages.com

Alright, what else is going on..... Oh yeah, I'm getting old. lol I can't say that I'm looking forward to my birthday. I guess when you really look at it "age is just a number" lol, yeah right. I guess we will just see how the week plays out.

Scared and proud at the same time

Okay, so I'm not sure about a few things still, but I do have more information to work from. At first I was a little bit bitter about why in the heck the Military would be recalling / stop-lossing Jeff only about 2 weeks before he was to complete his military service, but now that I know what his training is as well as what I know of his character, I completely understand. It doesn't mean I'm not worried, but I think that I would be more worried about that unit if someone else were leading them. I don't have a lot of details, or any really, but from what I can gather by reading between the lines, this mission is both dangerous and critical.

There are so many what ifs, but along with the stress and the insecurity about the future, I also feel a tremendous amount of pride in him and what he does. When I told Sevrine that he was going to be gone for a while because he was a soldier and was going to help people, she asked me if he was a super hero and could he fly. Well, she was sorry to hear that he couldn't fly but I did assure her that he was a hero....mine. Cheesy, I know, but it's true. I'll keep you posted.

Back on track

Okay, so I guess I'm trying to take control of the things that I can control. My actions. As some of you know, my life has been a little bit crazy lately. Well, they've now settled down at least a little bit, enough that I can step back and get a new perspective and consciously decide how I want to go forward. The goal I started to start taking care of myself was renewed this morning on a 40 minute walk. Eventually I'll start running again, but for now I like the walk as it gives me time to think at a reasonably pace. :)

Also, things with Jeff are still scary and unsure, but I think the original panic phase is over; I hope. He got a call yesterday morning that the location of his Battle Ready Physical was being moved from Luke Air Force Base to Texas (not sure which Base, but I will assume Fort Bliss until I can confirm). Now, this is good and, well, I hope it's just good. It's hard for me not being close, but he met up with some guys from his Unit that will also be deploying. I'm hoping that being able to talk to be that have not only been through a similar situation, but were participants in the same memories will bring him back from the panic. I know that he will still not want to go back, who would, but I think being able to have that kind of support system, since your Unit is your family, that it will give him the support that he needs and that I am completely unqualified to give him. So, now, I wait for word on how things go with the physical today, and pray that he and I will both be strong enough to handle it.

I remember...

Being that tomorrow is September 11th, I felt like i needed to publicly express my love and appreciation for all those that serve and have served in the armed forces, especially Jeff and Lamar. I love you both.

Let me off this ride

It seems like when I think that things are starting to get back to normal or close enough to normal for me to be comfortable, something comes up that throws things off again. I think they've already settled down again, at least for now. I guess we will see how things play out over this next week. In the meantime, work is going fairly well and Sevrine had a great time getting to see her cousins and her Dad this weekend. If only the excitement of being in a new house would wear off so she'd go to bed on time again. lol It used to be that I could ask her if it would make Jeff happy that she wasn't going to bed when she was supposed to and she'd settle right down. I haven't threatened her with his disappointment in a while because she hasn't seen him in a few weeks, and I'm not sure when she'll see him next. She misses him though. So do I, which makes it hard to hear her talk about him sometimes.

Ok, on to more fun things. Sevrine had a great time this weekend. She loved getting to play with her cousin Maddie. She didn't want to leave at all. She got to go run through the fountains at Gateway, go to Swiss Days in Midway, UT, play dress up, and go to see her Dad. She is still recovering from the excitement I think. lol It doesn't help that she's sleeping in a new house and a new pink bedroom. She's had a lot of changes and these have been exciting for her. Hopefully she'll start to settle into a routine soon so she can get back to her old schedule.

Well, I'm off to bed. A little earlier than is my usual, but after so many late nights, I need it.

Day 1

Well, I got through Day one with no soda and managing to stick to the plan and squeeze in some exercise. Granted, it was only about 20 minutes of swimming laps in the pool while Sevrine tried to attach herself to me, but hey, I stuck with it. I haven't had any soda today either, which would explain the headache I had for most of the day. Today has been a pretty lazy day, but we will see if I can keep with it and squeeze in some more exercise. :)

Setting new goals

Well, after some reflection, I have a whole bunch of things that I want to work on. On of them being my general health and wellness, and Sevrine as well. We don't eat particularly healthy and I don't get a whole lot of exercise unless you count chasing Sevrine and running back to the parts department to figure out why our Receivers take 2+ hours to get parts out to the technicians. Sooooo, the goal is to use my blog to track the healthy changes we're making. My goal is to get 10-30 minutes of real exercise in per day, whether its a video or traditional sit-ups and pushups, a video or going for a walk or hula-hooping with Sevrine. I also plan on cutting soda out of my diet as well as Sevrine's and drinking more water and fruit juice. We definitely need to eat more fruits and vegetables and less McDonalds. lol I'm not sure if we're going to start this immediately or start it fresh on Monday, but we'll see how it goes. I have some prep stuff I need to do to get ready, like buying fruit and vegetables, etc. and maybe stocking up on Perrier so I can still get my carbonation fix. Oh yeah, I also need to buy a replacement battery for my bathroom scale. Man I hate that thing, but it's a necessary evil isn't it? Ok, I think that I've decided to jump right into the exercise part of this goal today and the diet part on Monday. It's going to be hard Labor Day weekend since Sevrine and I will be driving to Utah and it's so hard to eat healthy on a road trip, or even get in exercise for that matter. The goal is that I will post about what I've done to stick with the goal each day to try and keep me honest. So, wish me luck. :)

Detour

My Fairytale took a wrong turn and I'm still waiting for the turn-by-turn lady to start yelling "You are now off track". I don't know how things will turn out, but I just can't believe that this is really the end. I've been a little bit quiet this weekend. I really haven't wanted much company under the circumstances because I know that I'll get a lot of questions that I'm not really up to answering. So, yeah, the relationship status is currently single, and when things aren't so fresh in my mind I'll talk about it, but until then I'm just going to try and make it through one day at a time.

I believe in Fairytales

I wish the weekend could have kept going. Jeff and Sevrine and I had so much fun in Wickenburg. It was really nice to get away for part of the weekend. We took Sevrine swimming on Sunday night and Monday morning before we had to head back. I can't wait until we have more time to just relax. I definitely didn't want it to end.

A happy girl

I think the picture pretty much says everything.  I'm completely happy, and so very blessed.

Exhausted but happy

Well, it's been a quite a week.  Between Sevrine and I being sick, work, and little sleep it's been a very busy week.  And yet, with all of that going on I still managed to squeeze in a little time for me.  I had a lunch date on Monday, met him again on Wednesday, took him to Rawhide to watch Friday night Bull Riding with Sevrine and I and tonight I get to see him again.  What a lucky girl I am.  Sevrine will be at Dorothy's tonight while we're out, so tonight it's just the two of us.  

Well, gotta finish getting ready, Sevrine and I are leaving for Dorothy's at 4.  If you're lucky I'll let you know how it goes.  ;)

It's been a while

Well, it's been a while since I posted anything so figured that I should at least get something down, so I apologize if it's not witty or entertaining.  The last couple of weeks have been really stressful, and I guess I didn't know how stressful until everything came to a head on Friday.  It's been an eye-opener for me.  I'm at this point where I need to sit down and evaluate where I'm at and where I want to be and then pick the shortest way there.  Not necessarily the easiest, but the shortest.  I had a small setback yesterday, but am still determined to move forward no matter the challenges and roadblocks.  

I'll try and keep everyone updated on the road ahead.

So easy to pass judgment

I hate when people make comments that pass judgment when they don't know anything about the situation. I won't explain the situation on here, but I have to say the whole thing really made me mad. I just can't believe how insensitive people can be sometimes.

Okay, we're beginning another week. I think that I've begun to live for the weekend. I spend the whole week trying to survive that by the time I get to the weekend I'm exhausted. Then I spend all weekend chasing Sevrine around that I'm even more exhuasted by the time Monday comes around. What a vicious cycle! I can't figure out when I'm supposed to unwind in there, ore even get anything done.

Oh well. I'm surviving. :)

180

What makes it so hard for Men and Women to understand each other?  And what makes a person behave in a certain way one week, then completely change the next?  Just food for thought I guess.

It was definitely a long week.  Work was pretty busy with it being end of week and all and Sevrine got sick and has had a fever and an earache for the last couple of days.  I feel so bad when she's sick because there's not a whole lot I can do to make her feel better, especially when she wont even take Tylenol!  Normally she loves Tylenol.  Right now she's fine, but when the liquid Tylenol that I slipped into her milk this morning wears off she'll start getting warm again.  I'm debating on whether or not I'm going to take her out to Hailee's birthday because I don't want her getting the other kids sick too.  She'll be so bummed, but she needs to get her rest so she can start feeling better.

Well, that's about all I'm going to write here.  There's really more going on, but I always hesitate to write everything because I don't necessarily want to share everything with everyone. lol  

P.S.  The picture is of Sevrine with her Grandma Christine while we were in Albuquerque, NM.

Happy Valentine's Day!

I feel a little lame for writing this during a time that couples everywhere are out snuggled up to their significant others, while I am home with only Sevrine for a Valentine.  I can't really complain too much though because I did get to celebrate a few days early with someone special.  It does seem that the holiday has become mostly commercial, but it's nice to be able to celebrate it with someone.  Well,  I really can't think of anything else to write, now that I've started this, so will try and come up with something for later.

What a week!

Okay, this was kind of a long week to begin with, but to cap it all off, I got rear-ended by a drunk driver on Friday morning.  That's right, on my way to work at 7:30 in the morning.  Did I mention that he fled the scene?  Lucky for me I was able to get his license plate number and Chandler PD, kicks @ss and caught him.  I was even more fortunate that a woman admitted to the arresting officer that this drunk had permission to operate the vehicle, which means their insurance will have to cover it.  The downside is that I feel like crap.  Even with as minor as it is, my x-rays show swelling and a bunch of pulled muscles in my back and neck.  Yay for me!  On the bright side, Ken will be in town on Wednesday and Thursday and I'm taking the time off so we can go play.  I'm so excited and have literally been counting the days since we firmed up our plans.  I'm also going out to New Mexico on the 20th to see him.  Sevrine is looking forward to it because she's going to get to see her Grandma Christine.

Well, it's getting late, and I need to lay down.  BTW, the picture is Sevrine with her "aunt" Laura, my best friend.  They're soooooo cute!!! I love this picture of them.

Bright and Early

Well, once again Sevrine woke up with the Train. Thankfully at 7 instead of 6:30 like it used to be. Unfortunately, if I try and go back to sleep it will end up giving me a headache. I didn't get a whole lot of sleep last night, but that's pretty normal for the weekend. I ended up staying up late to talk to a friend. So entertaining, I couldn't stop laughing.

Today should be fun. I bought tickets to go and see the Harlem Globetrotters so Sevrine, Mike and I are going. Sevrine saw the ad on TV for it and got really excited. Sevrine can be a little of a challenge at a big event like that just because she wants to go and see everything so I needed reinforcements. :) She'll love watching the basketball and the tricks and Mike can help keep her distracted so she wont run off. Hopefully. I guess there's a Supercross event going on at Chase Field so parking should be interesting. I hope it's not bad.

Sevrine and I went to a basketball game last night and it didn't turn out as I had expected. I honestly thought it would feel awkward, but it wasn't bad. It was different, but not bad, and Sevrine and I both had fun.

Well, we have to get up and get ready so we can webcam then leave for the game. Bye!

I'm surrounded by crazy people!

The first week of this new year, has definitely been a strange one.  It started off a little bit wrong, started to turn back around with the addition of some new friends, then has gone back to the twilight zone (not the vampire movie, the original lol).  This new chapter in the drama that is my life is actually just a continuation of an incident from a few months ago, but has resurfaced.  If you're lucky, you can ask and I'll tell you, otherwise you'll just have to be curious.  

Sevrine and I went to the gym tonight.  I have, yet another, new trainer to do my re-evaluations.  Let's hope this one lasts more than a few weeks.  I do like him though, I think he's going to kick my trash.  I'm going to hate him tomorrow and for a few days after that, but I'm sure I'll come to love him as I notice more results. lol  I do have some new goals to try and stick to, one being cutting out soda.  Probably not 100%, but I drink way too much soda right now which isn't doing me any favors.

Well, time to wrap this up.  More later.

"Calgon, take me away"

I know we just got done with having days off for the holiday, but having to work the day after both Christmas and New Years has me all turned around.  I don't feel like I really got to unwind or relax.  I definitely feel like I just need to get away for a couple of days, and relax with some peace and quiet.  Who knows.  Maybe sometime over the next couple of weeks.

I don't really know what else to write.  I'm always unsure of how much to put in here.  I'll say this though, guys are confusing! :) So are girls!  Now that's a long story. LOL  Well, that's it for now. :)

Low blow

Well, I almost wrote the most bitter post to date. lol  Maybe writing it out was good therapy, even though  I didn't actually post it.  We'll just say it was kind of a low blow, and leave it at that.  If you're in my inner circle, you already know most of the story anyway.

Well, it was definitely a Monday.  Work wasn't too bad, but it was just a long day.  I'm definitely in need of a vacation, and preferably somewhere nowhere near here.  I think I just need to get out of town to relax and destress.  We'll see how things go, I just need to figure out where to go, when, and whether or not I'd bring Sevrine with me. lol

Well, more later, and hopefully more upbeat.

long day

Well, I'm being really bad and updating this from church. Oops. I know its bad, but I'm getting antsy. Today is Sevrine's first day of sunbeams. I can't believe she's getting so big! She was a little funny about it because she's so used to going to nursery that she was annoyed when I wouldn't take her to her normal classroom. I just hope she's behaving. :) well, I'm going to have to finish this update later.

Apparently the kids weren't very good in Sunbeams because they didn't get treats. lol From what I heard they disrupted Priesthood meetin as well as a few other classes. I felt kind of bad for her teacher.

Okay, this picture is from yesterday when we were out running around. Sevrine got to go see the movie Bolt again and we had a late lunch at the theater. We got to go shopping after that because she said she wanted to get earrings for her baby. We didn't end up getting the earrings, but she got a blanket for snuggling up watching movies and a few other things. We'll see how things go, but the goal is to keep adding pictures more frequently. Hope you all had a good Sunday!

Resolutions

Well, welcome to a new year! This one didn't get off to the kind of start that I'd hoped for, but things seem to be improving.We'll see how it goes. lol

My new years resolution (or at least one of them): Take more pictures! It used to be that I had my camera out all of the time, now it stays safely in my bag. lol But this year my plan is to get it out and use it, and hopefully get some good ones of myself as well.

As some of you know, the hard drive on my laptop crashed and I lost all of my data, including pictures. I'm so bummed about it. Sevrine is pretty cool about taking pictures and will ham it up in front of the webcam so I know that we will be able to take some new ones, but man, there were some good ones on my computer. Oh well. There's nothing I can do about it now. Well, more later, and hopefully more pictures! :)